I am.

I'm old enough to know better, but too young to give a damn.

I'm true to myself these days.

I live for the moment and generally don't think of the consequences.

My soul is full of passion, love, strength, hope, and rhythm.

I'll always tell you that that imagination is stronger than knowledge, myth is more powerful than history, dreams dominate facts, hope triumphs over experience, laughter is the cure for grief, and love is stronger than death.

I've learned to appreciate the past but to look forward to the future.

I live mind over matter.

My head is in the clouds.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

If your life changes, let it.

Nobody said it'd be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it.

Growth.

I'm two cups into my coffee break.
I'm sitting alone in the café from the way.
Reading all by myself
Turning my cell off just to breathe,
And everyone I know just keeps calling me.
And I just need a little time.

Cause I'm overcommiting myself.
I guess this is growing up
I'm sleeping so little these days.
I guess this is growing up
I'm feeling things are about to change
I'm guessing this is growing up
Yeah, I'm growing up.

And my mom hates my guts.
She has every reason to
From all the things I do.
And it breaks me just to know
That I have torn her apart so many times.
So many times.

Cause I've overcommitted myself.
I guess this is growing up
I'm sleeping so little these days.
I guess this is growing up
I'm feeling things are about to change
I'm guessing this is growing up
Oh, I'm guessing this is growing up.

Now I'm done with my coffee break.
I turn on my phone.
Now that I've grown up.

I want to work here so bad:

Epic.

Today is JJ's 21st birthday, happy birthday dollface.

As I type this, I doubt everything I am. EVERYTHING.

I don't want to be with you.

Everything has a reason.

I finally feel like everything is falling into place. As of 12:00 AM, Wednesday, February 11, 2009, things are changing. For real, no bullshit. I couldn't be happier in the decision, and I hope that things stay going up.

i cannot count the times, the skyline's left me breathless.

This city is growing on me. I like nights where JJ and I ponder the thought of why the BofA Stadium is green. Here's an update on my life, starting from whenever I decide in 2.5 seconds, because I don't remember the last time I posted:

We had a snow day the other day, Wednesday I think. It was pretty nice to have a snow day when I had class, so that I actually didn't have to go to class and I had the day off. I had 2 days off this week, how did I get so lucky?! Who cares, it ruled. JJ and I got up and went to work to get food for us and the boys. "Snow" Day Munchies: sandwiches, chips, and drinks. We then watched Bee Movie, drank a beer, and worked on the puzzle. After the beer, we felt the need to make the night an arts and crafts night. We made tie dye shirts, painted shirts, made hippie bracelets, and probably something else. I played Rock Band and JJ made dinner, it was awesome. Travy came over, which was pretty sweet because I missed him and he means a lot to me. Hopefully we'll start to hang out quite a bit soon.

Thursday I slept, I think. Or maybe I disappeared from the world, I don't know. I tend to do that on Thursdays. I remember being upset.

Friday was great. Worked, then went shopping. It was a good shopping day. I got a cute tank top and cardigan, cute greek sandals, and cuter heels. Turns out my sandals are too big, but I'll fix them and make them work. Oh! We also got apple pie apples, which are beyond heavenly. After dropping lots of money, we finished the NY puzzle by getting frustrated, bruising my arm, and moving the couch. Sounds silly, but makes sense, I swear. Friday was La's birthday, and I stressed myself out while talking to Ty about whether or not to go to the Paulson show that I was stoked for or stay in Charlotte for her birthday and go to the P. Box.  I knew I'd regret leaving, so I stayed. Plans got changed late in the night, and JJ and I went up by UNCC and I was beyond drunk. It was seriously great, and I'm glad I'm friends with those guys. It's stupid and immature to drink your problems away, but it works and I love it. I threw up french fries. Yuck.

Saturday was my day off, and my hangover day. JJ and I watched Finding Nemo on the Disney Channel even though it was in my DVD player. :) She made me make my bed, and we covered my walls. We went to work and got food so I could see Pam. We got tattooed. I now have the outline of Texas on my ankle the size of my little man. I love it. Free tattoos, ftw. Then came La's birthday dinner which was delicious but overpriced. Katey wasn't there, which sucked cause I miss her. I'm glad I got to see La and meet her boyfriend. I want one. 

Today is Sunday. I worked. I thought. I'm about to do homework, hopefully. Adam got married today, and I hurt. Not because I want him back or anything of the sort, I just want my friend. If I ever get married, I hope no restrictions like the ones Adam is going through are placed on me by my husband. Then again, everyone knows I'll never get married. 

Thursday is JJ's 21st birthday. I suck at birthdays, but I'm going to figure out a way to make this one the best one ever, I swear. Hopefully Valentine's Day will be better than last year. It definitely has potential. 

I need to stop getting mad at people in my dreams. I need to stop crushing on boys I can't have. I need to do a lot of things that I'll probably never do. I miss Keba. 

"I've got to move on and be who I am. I just don't belong here, I hope you understand. We might find a place in this world someday, but as for now, I gotta go my own way."

Take care loves. <3

For once,

I'm happy to be in Charlotte. Thanks, JJ. You're an amazing friend and I'm stoked that I have someone like you in my life. I don't know anyone else that would want a huge Abercrombie poster, bytheway.

Confusion and pain, nothing's the same.

I'm so lost inside my head right now. I have so much to say to so many people, but I don't want to be judged. Someone told me today anonymously that if I play hard to get, I'll be more successful with guys. I don't like hard to get, it's always let me down. I don't even know if I want to be with someone. If the person I think it is is the one that said that to me, maybe I did come on strong to him, but it's not like he didn't do the same to me. People are shady at the worst times.

I've loved and I've lost. I just want my life back. I keep saying that I need out and I want to move, but that's not the answer. It can't be, and I know that. I need to fix what's going on in my head before I do anything. I guess it's not where I am, but who I am.