shorty by nature.

I don't want to go because I want more than anything for things to work this once.

Just this once. 

For once, I feel as if being in Greensboro would make things okay.

I'm ridiculously excited for holiday break. No matter what state I end up in, I'm sure that I'll be perfectly content with it.

I'm on the phone with Parker and she thinks I'm a liar because of what we're talking about on the phone. She's going to write a blog tomorrow titled "B.I.T.C.H." because I am one.

Anyways, I have a lot to offer, and all I want is someone to offer it to.

I'm getting tattooed tomorrow, and I can't wait.

"Oh, I've been down

I've been kicking and screaming

And freaking out so long that I forgot

What got me here in the first place, baby."

ohio makes me crazy.

You can hold onto the bedsheets, but they won't hold on to you.

I have a handle on the fiction.

I need to lose weight.

It's recently hit me hard that my friends get the credit and attention for my thoughts and actions. 

When I am miles away, will you still check on me?

Fun-sized!

I have recently come to terms with the fact that I'm tiny. By tiny, I do not mean skinny. I know I'm not. But, I can wear little boy clothing and shoes. Speaking of that, I want these shoes for Christmas. Size 3, ten bucks, found at your local Wal-Mart.

This is what we do, we reminisce.

I've been thinking. This is what I've came up with:

I miss the days that I put school before work.

I miss past summers, 2005, 2007, and 2008 to be exact.

I miss the days my house was a hotel.

I miss Baltimore.

I changed sometime between September 2007 and January 2008 and never looked back until now.

I miss driving 5 minutes to see my best friend.

I miss the days when no one could text and you had to tell each other things face-to-face.

I miss waking up hungover next to the one I love.

I miss everyone loving my parents as much as I do.

I miss my Honda Accord.

I miss my green box.

I miss FBLA.

I miss Coach Carter's challenge.

I miss my state officer team.

I miss Cybis.

I miss Scarlet Undercover.

I miss Sanford days.

On top of it all, I miss the way I used to feel. Nothing could touch me.

I'm stoked on life at the moment, but I miss being stoked all the time.

I'm blessed to have such great memories.

good morning scouts, it's a new day.

Granted it's not morning at all, and it's the end of a day, I woke up feeling like today was going to be different. It was.

I've been in an amazing mood all day. Tonight was great and I didn't do anything. I fell out of a chair, knocked down some Christmas lights, bought some Christmas lights, burnt breadsticks, and drank a beer. It was nice.

I want to be kissed in the rain. 

That is all, other than this: Tim, you are an amazing person. No matter what we go through, I cherish your friendship, and I hope we remain friends as we both grow and mature into the adults neither one of us truly want to be. 

Florida and Texas soon. Love my life.

just say the words, and we can run away.

Classes start tomorrow. A whole new term of misery. I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but not a term has gone by that I haven't wanted to pack up everything I own, quit school, and run away. I'm tired of people telling me that I won't be happy anywhere I go. That's not true, because I adapt well to new situations. I always have. I'm old enough to make my own decisions. There will never be a day that I don't regret sitting back while my parents decide where I spend the "best years" of my life. Forty hours on a UCLA application, amazing SAT scores, over 400 hours of community service, countless awards and accomplishments, 4.4 GPA, and the potential to change the world, and I get stuck at the one school in America that is free to apply to, doesn't consider SAT scores, could care less about community service unless you're doing it under their name, and harbors every ounce of potential I have. What happened to me?

When I'm in one city, I like a guy from a different one. I always like the ones that don't like me. Someone should buy me a safe for Christmas so I can put my heart in it and stop trying to give it away.

I don't want to drink. Drinking problems away only causes problems for me. See above paragraph. While everyone is drinking every night, I'll find something else to do. Drinking isn't my way of stress relief. Maybe I'll work out and get cute. I just want my life to turn around.

Happiness should be sold at Target. I'd buy it all the time. I like being happy. Some of my friends make me happy. Conversations late at night in bed snuggled up to someone make me extremely happy. As do conversations on the balcony at 6am, but that's different. 

I was thinking about going to deathfest this weekend, but I'm really nervous. I need a date or something. There's a story behind it, but I don't really understand it.

I want to be a celebrity's personal assistant. 

I just realized that my blogs are ridiculously dumb. I ramble. Oh well. So here's what I'm looking for: someone legit. someone single. someone with potential. someone that thinks the same of me as I do them. Anyone?

Oh, and why do I have the feeling that this time will turn out the same as every other?

Double oh, I want to write things my friends and I want to do on little scraps of paper and put them all in a jar, to be called the "date jar". My friends and I will take turns pulling each time and that scrap of paper will be what we do. I want it to sit on my counter and anyone who sees it will ask about it then get jealous when I tell them what it is.