my soul don't live here no more.

I've never loved Charlotte so much. I hated my time home. I was on the run the entire time, didn't know how to get anywhere, and my family was not happy with me. I came to a realization as I always do when I'm in the 336 area about who cares, who doesn't, who wants a piece of ass, and who is just a bitch.

If you don't know, you should know that I don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Not because my family doesn't, but simply because "I don't do Thanksgiving." It started from skating every year on Thanksgiving, but now that I'm not doing that anymore, I just can't seem to grasp the concept. My family seems happier to be around me when I'm not home for a holiday.

As I drove around the Greensboro/High Point/Burlington area, I realized that I don't remember much about that place. Certain things stuck in my head, but overall I used Jane (my GPS) to get everywhere, including my house. My dad and I went to get some random stuff from Wal-Mart (which resulted in me buying Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders for five bucks each) then went to Coldstone on Wednesday after my terrifying dentist appointment. The entire time we discussed how I need out and how I need to be some place new. I figured out that "home" seems so new to me, but I know that I've been there, so it doesn't cure the need to get away. It didn't seem like home to me. My room didn't feel like mine, my shower was awkward, my hot tub felt like a hotel. I think I broke his heart when I told him that I don't feel home. "My soul don't live here no more."

I thought a lot which is what I always do when I'm home. I thought about Tim, about my Charlotte friends, about work, about love, about relationships, about previous relationships, about Rhode Island, about life.  

Ross and I have had our ups and downs a lot lately, and I hurt his feelings Monday night without meaning to, yet again. We talked and things are good now I think, but it kind of made me realize that even though I want to strangle him at times, his friendship is important to me and I would like my life less is we weren't friends. 

Now JJ and Susa aren't any different. Both of them mean the world to me, and I'm extremely thankful that we all got over our original opinions and became friends. You girls are probably reading this, and I just want to tell you both that I love you.

Four random thoughts - 1) I love Jessica Parker. 2) I love Brooke and Cooper Collins. 3) I talked to someone this week that I've missed a whole lot and I feel more complete now that we are making plans to hang out again. 4) Warren is a gorgeous man.

Okay, so since everyone posted things saying what they're thankful for, I'm going to do the same. Here goes:

My mom,

My dad,

My puppy,

Pam,

Wanda,

Geoff,

Brooke,

Parker,

JJ,

Susa,

Nikki,

Marwan,

Jeremy,

Little Britches,

Nikki,

Chance (I miss you slut),

Katelyn Ryder Collishaw,

La,

Emily,

Mike,

Rick,

Scott,

Jacob Burns,

Keba,

Mercy Mercedes,

Marshall,

Farewell,

Hit The Lights,

Sequoyah Prep School,

My MacBook,

My iPod,

My cell phone,

Zack,

Clay,

Joel,

and Nathan from HTH,

Jon Ricci,

Patti,

a lot of other things and people,

and Lansdowne.

I listed Lansdowne last because there needs to be an explanation. If you don't know about my obsession with them, it all started when they crashed at the apartment for a couple days this summer. When I was passed out drunk on my bed as they were leaving, they woke me up for hugs and to give me a couple shirts and a cd. I've listened to that cd so much it's ridiculous. Their music is mainstream yet powerful. Jon's voice is amazing. Jon in general is amazing. Honestly, I think the world of him. He has his head on his shoulders, a beautiful love for his family and friends, a lot of talent, and a heart of gold. We've had some of the best conversations and he has changed my outlook on a lot of things. I found out the other day that Jake is going to Iraq in February. Lansdowne has a USO contract and an amazing song called "I'll See You Again" that is about saying goodbye then saying hello again. The night that Jake leaving hit me really hard, that song made things so much better. That song, Jon, and Lansdowne. There's so much more to them, but overall, I'm extremely thankful for Sean, Jon, Glenn, Josh, and everyone else that was on the Lansdowne train when they stayed. Miss you guys.

That's about it. 

"I was there when the phone hit the floor,

Bags are packed, sitting out by the door.

Waving goodbye with tears in my eyes.

I'll see you again.

I'll see you again,

I'm coming home but not alone.

I'll see you again,

Don't lose hope."